Last night I reluctantly stopped at the grocery store on my way home even though I was in a DayQuil fog, and it hurt to hold my body upright. (Damn you mid-winter cold!) I was walking down the dairy aisle on my way to pick up yogurt when, “EXCUSE ME!” was shouted at me, in a ridiculously loud voice. I quite literally jumped and made a slight yelp. It scared the shit out of me. A hunched over, very old man pushed past me in his tweed newsboy cap and tweed sports coat and waddled his way in front of me.
I was immediately annoyed. It was quite rude. Not only could he have passed me on the right or left (I’m not so wide that I take up an entire aisle), but it could have been requested in a quieter and much more polite tone—one that didn’t make me jump six feet in the air. To make matters worse, we were heading toward the same goal, and he really only arrived five seconds prior to me. So, why the rush? Apparently he was there to pick up cottage cheese with fruit, which I overheard while the grocery store employee was assisting him.
I really hope that when I’m an old lady, the only thing lighting a fire under my butt and causing a big excitement in my day won’t be cottage cheese with pineapple.
Currently Feeling: Tired of not having any sick days.
Currently Anticipating: Getting this long, meeting-filled day over with.
Currently Wondering: How things are going on that little boat in the middle of the Bering Sea.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
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6 comments:
I think you just have to realize that old geezers are totally set in there weird ways and laugh at the situation, rather than have it annoy you. I was shopping at Trader Joe's a few months ago and bending over to look at cheese. Some old man tapped me on the shoulder and said to me, "I just wanted you to know, your cleavage is showing. Your butt cleavage!" Really loud too. I'm sure I blushed and mumbled out something like "Thanks!" but it totally pissed me off at first. In retrospect it was funny as hell!
I think you should have shoved him, kicked his cane out from under him, grabbed his newsboy cap and run down the isle doing heel-clickers.
Feel better sweetie! I need my double dose of Jeanna this weekend!
Dan that story IS hilARious!! Butt cleavage=LOL.
Who says butt cleavage anyway? That's the last thing you expect to hear from a 75 year old man that taps you on the shoulder in Trader Joe's. I should have said, "Stop staring at my cleavage you dirty old man!"
I never trust anyone in a newsboy cap.
It just doesn't sit right with me.
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