Toilet Talk

Growing up, my dad used to get all in a huff over the amount of toilet paper our household went through.

“You only need two or three squares!” he’d exclaim.

Two or three squares?! I'd think to myself. Two or three squares is most definitely not enough toilet paper. So, I went merrily on my six-to-10 square way. After all, it’s not like he could really monitor my toilet paper consumption.

I have come to the conclusion, however, that my dad is totally right. Women use faaaarrrr too much toilet paper. It takes 71.48 people to completely utilize a single roll of toilet paper. (#) I’m assuming, if the sample pool was just women, it’d take four.

In the bathroom at work, I always hear women in the stall next to doing the following:

Rustle, rustle, unravel.

Tear.

Rustle, rustle, unravel.

Tear.

Rustle, rustle, unravel.

Tear.

Tear.

Unravel.

Tear.

Rustle.

Tear.

SIX?! SIX lengths of toilet paper is what you really need to go to the bathroom? I mean sheesh. I’d think by that time you’d have a bowling ball-sized mound of toilet paper to wipe with. Clearly unnecessary.

Perhaps tomorrow I’ll shout over the stall, “You only need two or three squares! Two. Or. Three!”

Currently Feeling: Like it’s not Friday. But it is. Yippee!
Currently Anticipating: Project Red Dress tonight with Sarah and her coworkers.
Currently Loving: Broccoli with chopped walnuts and Parmesan cheese.