MIA Roommate Drama

Sarah left last night for Florida. I'm by myself in our apartment for the longest period of time since moving out of my studio. At first, I found insane pleasure in little stupid things. For instance, Wednesday I ran out of toilet paper on the toilet paper roll. Usually, I would replace it, without a doubt, right away. Only douche bags don't replace the toilet paper roll. But, since Sarah was gone, and I didn't have to worry about her opinion, I left it. This morning when I woke up and went to the bathroom, a slight, "yessss" went through my mind as I sat down and took the new, un-replaced roll from the counter...sometimes it just feels so good to be irresponsible.

Or how great it was to sleep with my door WIDE OPEN and not feel weird if she got up and my cheeks were hanging out of my skimpy bedtime shorts...eff, it's hot. I'm not sleeping in much these nights. Furthermore, I got up in the middle of the night last night and found pleasure in taking a midnight nap on the futon, next to all of our large windows, circulating cool nighttime air through the living room. Hell. Sarah wouldn't be waking up in the morning and feel like she had to sneak around to be quiet for me...so I slept in the living room.

Or this morning when I took THREE spoonfuls of her Cool Whip out of the fridge to eat for breakfast. Normally, I'd feel incredibly guilty about eating her food. I'd usually try to be really sneaky and smooth over the Cool Whip so it didn't look like I'd just consumed half the container. But, with her out of town, I can eat, eat and eat and just replace it all before she gets back!

Not to mention I haven't washed one damn dish. They're piling up all over the counters, and it's beautiful.

So, I've definitely enjoyed doing the stupid little things one has to always think about and respect when living with someone. But, don't get me wrong. I'm unnervingly bored and lonely. In fact, I was so bored and lonely tonight that I ordered PIZZA at 10 p.m. after I'd already eaten dinner and dessert. I wasn't even that hungry. I was just bored and snacky. I suppose I could have saved myself $25 by just walking or driving a couple blocks to pick up a fuckin ding dong, but instead I paid for an entire greasy 10-pound pizza to be delivered to my front door so I could eat two pieces. And now I just want to take it to work in the morning and leave it in the lunchroom for someone to eat so I don't have to feel the guilt of devouring an entire pizza.

I hope I make it through this lonely weekend without gaining 10 pounds. If I disappear, it might be because my fat ass sank through the 5-foot pile of clothing on my bedroom floor that I can't bring myself to clean...send in the search party by Monday.

Currently Feeling: A little saucy and bold after sending a message to Twinkle Eyes.
Currently Anticipating: Jesse Colorado taking me sailing.
Currently Reading: Free Food for Millionaires by Min Jin Lee

Memorial Day Weekend 2007: Sunland and the Sand Bar

I survived Memorial Day. Another year of camping, drinking, boating, bathing suiting, hot dogging and kissing gone past. I love Memorial Day. It's always the first big trip and sun of the summer, marking the beginning of the best months in Seattle. This year was nothing short of fantastic, which I'm sure is just a prelude to how glorious this summer is going to be.

Friday I headed over the pass with Amanda, Kelly and I packed like sardines into my Beetle. Our destination was literally Sunland, Washington. How can it sound any more fabulous than to be heading somewhere called Sunland? Four stops, one gas fill up, three sandwich wraps and eight cigarettes later, we arrived at Evan's cabin. Immediately, we were told to put our bathing suits on to head out to the boat. I couldn't have asked for a better greeting.

It wasn't long before I was feeling the sauce and the need to take a power nap. I crawled into the bottom of a bunk bed in one of the rooms in the cabin, thinking that anyone looking for me would for sure find me. Not such the case, I napped and rallied a couple hours later, only to be greeted by at least three people were said, "Where the hell did you go?!!? We've been looking for you for hours!" Apparently, Amanda hopped on the back of a scooter with some blonde guy named Tommy and rode all around Sunland shouting my name. The scooter gave-out blocks from the house and she and Tommy were forced to push the moped back in disgrace. All weekend, Amanda was yelling, "Tommy!?!" in search of her hot, blonde scootered friend. I'm still wondering if he existed... ;)

Amanda tried to open her beer with a lighter and the cap popped her in the nose. It was numb for awhile after that, so she iced it with her beer. Genius!

Carrie felt her pain

Not really sure what's going on here. This was after my nap and rally. Apparently we walked to the store to buy ice and decided that ice made the perfect photo op!

Saturday morning we left bright and early for adult Disneyland--the Sand Bar! As soon as we pulled up and docked next to a boat, I realized that the boat we parked next to was Josh's and all his friends. (The husband of my friend Jill who got married two weeks ago, and the guys and girls who were in the wedding party). How fantastic! We partied together most of the day, and hilarity ensued:

Which of these two images are more shocking? Sarah in pasties or the dude in the Borat swimsuit?!

We wrapped up the day with a couple cheesy brats, many hilarious rounds of drinking Jenga, a dance party in some garage across the street, which was equipped with arcade games, air hockey and party animals from houses all around Sunland. I found Twinkle Eyes, my weekend camping heartthrob, laughed till my belly hurt at Vanessa's rambling, and managed to stumble back to the tent at 4:30 a.m....

...Only to do it again the next day.

This is how I felt by the end of the weekend, but it was worth the lack of sleep and general wear and tear to my body. I have tons of memories and laughs with some of my very best friends, and really, that's all I care about in this life of mine...

Currently Feeling: Excited to go on a date tonight with Jesse from Colorado.
Currently Anticipating: Hearing back from Cole & Weber United.
Currently Dreading: A whole weekend by myself in my aparment--Sarah's heading to Florida for a wedding.

Just the right words

Looking for the perfect sentiment to send to a friend, co-worker, ex-boyfriend? Check out someecards.com

Or just browse through the cards for a good laugh. A few of my personal favorites:











Totally should have given this one for Mother's Day:

Lock this Single up Tight, and Throw away the key!

I’ve officially gone off the deep end with this whole dating stuff. Who knew it could be so scary? I’m a somewhat attractive and successful female, so there has to be somewhat attractive and successful single males out there too, right? Except where are they all hiding?

Who knows. But I’ll tell you where they’re NOT hiding—at Space City Mixer single events.
Take a warning from me.

DO.
NOT.
ATTEND.
A.
SPACE.
CITY.
MIXER.
LOCK.
AND.
KEY.
PARTY.

I’m going to try to express just how horrible this Lock and Key party was last night, but seriously, words cannot describe.

Sarah and I are on a serious dating kick lately. We’re trying new things and generally just attempting to get ourselves out there and take advantage of this time in our life where our bodies and looks will probably be the best ever. (Depressing, isn’t it?) So, we decided to attend a 20s and 30s Lock and Key party at SeeSound Lounge last night. What the hec? The description online sounded fun:

The Lock and Key Encounter is an interactive social mixing game where every female attendee receives a lock, and every male attendee receives a key. The object is to find the lock that fits the key and the key that fits the lock. For two hours, you try and meet each person at the event, getting to know them and of course, trying to match the lock and key. The object is to find as many “Matches” as possible. You will not go away from this event only meeting a few people... Here, you will have the opportunity to meet them all! You'll end the night with scores of new friends and possibly more.

Of course, we pictured throngs of good-looking, tall, dark and handsome types with great smiles, sparkling personalities and gads of entertaining conversations just waiting on the tips of their tongues. Ha! Does that give you a little glimpse into just how delusional we are?

We walked into the bar as the first two women to arrive. I felt like I was at a junior high dance. The crowd was sparse and mostly awkward, gangly guys, staring at the women—which happened to only be the two of us. We decided to beeline to the bathroom and collect our thoughts before starting the adventure. I prepped her, she prepped me, a little boost, a little pat…and VOILA! When we walk back out, all the fashionably late guys will have arrived.

Guess again.

Maybe six more geeks and four more beasts.

It was terrible. Really, every bone in my body was telling me to just walk out the front door and pretend like I would NEVER be so lame as to sign up for one of these “SINGLE events.” Adding insult to injury—the bar staff was gorgeous. I mean drool-worthy gorgeous. And Sarah and I were obviously there to attend a single’s event that we signed up for on the Internet. I’m not sure if I can show my face in SeeSound again.

Always trying to make the best of every situation, I just decided that I’d have to suck it up, put a smile on my face, and try to be as nice as possible to each and every goon in there. The host explained the game, handed out the locks and keys, rang the bell and the madness began. And I’m not using that adjective lightly. It. was. Crazy. Two fish in a shark tank crazy.

Sarah and I were by far the best looking girls there. And that’s not conceit. Just put anyone you know against Dottie from Kent with missing teeth and the chubby 35-something plus frumpy woman, and it’s really no contest. Hell, I wish the crowd at this Lock and Key thing would be the pickings for women at every bar; I’m sure I could get a lot more dates.

So, you get the crowd. And I got BOMBARDED. I would try to have a three-minute conversation with someone and there’d be six guys sticking their locks in my face. I’d turn one lock in and try to get another, and when I turned around, half the room was waiting to try my new lock. Every time I found a match, I had to spend countless minutes listening to myself drone on and on about my job, which I had explained to nine different people already. And other boring stuff. I got so sick of talking about myself, that really it was emotionally draining. I just stopped being nice. They’d ask, “So, what do you do?” And I’d just groan and say that I physically couldn’t talk about myself anymore.

It was agonizing. I’ve never been so fake, smiley, upbeat and nice for such a long period of time. Seriously. I didn’t want to seem shallow, so I was Miss Congeniality U.S.A. the whole night.

And I wanted to punch Miss Congeniality in the face, smoke six cigarettes, get a tattoo and jump on the back of a motorbike by the time it was over.

Oh, but did I mention I got Mike’s number? Oh yes, Mike who lives in Everett and is a mechanic for a motor-racing track. Hello lover!
You know I’ll be drunk dialing him tonight and telling him how I want him to oil my spokes, or whatever.

Yeah.
Right.

Jill and Josh Speed * May 12, 2007

The wedding last weekend was most spectacular. I've been a little lazy at getting the photos posted for you all to see, but here they are.

I'd have to quickly recap the wedding by saying that it more than made up for all the costs and time I had to put into it. I had the best time ever; ate tons of good food, danced, laughed, kissed, drank...it was perfect. In fact, I pretty much want to go to a wedding every weekend. Anyone need a date? ;)

Jill and Josh Speed:


Two bridesmaids: Jamie and myself


Purple, fuschia and pink explosion


The bridal party (minus all the good-looking men)


Me and the lovely bride


Walking down the isle


Standing up there, trying not to laugh or wiggle my knees too much


Jill and Josh wrote and read their own vows. It was beautiful!


Me and my hot wedding date


It's official! They're married!


The Belgium chocolate fountain


With more than 50 dippings, including marshmallows!


Cake, cookies, cheesecake, creampuffs, pastries...


White chocolate leaves, truffles and champagne bottle


Strawberries, lemon bars, pound cake...


And hand-painted truffles. SO amazing!


Me and my parents. Aren't they cute? They match!


The first dance


And my parents, 25 years later and still in love...


The table...with what I consumed most the night.


The cake


And the garter!!

Congratulations Jill and Josh!