Last night Sarah and I sat outside at my friend Josh’s apartment in Madison Park, a bottle of wine deep, and contemplated the conundrum that is Josh’s roommate—very sexy and uber nice, yet obviously in a bad relationship with a total hooker. Josh’s roommate, Troy, is drool worthy. He has that whole bad boy/good guy thing that I find incredibly addictive. The last time I was over, I crossed his path while he was leaving for a class (med school=HOT!), and he was dressed impeccable, but had his motorcycle helmet in his hand and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Very James Dean like, and I haven’t been able stop thinking about him since.
On the flip side, he’s extremely nice. A total gentleman. Like offers to carry heavy bags, walks you home (which he’s done for me), holds the door open, asks me how I am, smiles and has a generally sunny disposition. I’ve never heard anything mean come out of his mouth. I get the vibe he’s one of those guys who thinks girls are a special breed, and you need to treat them so. Those guys are hard to come by.
Last night I met Troy’s girlfriend for the first time. (Total disappointment that he’s spoken for.) And I was less than impressed. Even if I weren’t single or at all interested in him, I still would have been less than impressed. She generally had this uppity air to her, nothing really that nice or interesting came out of her mouth, and she certainly didn’t treat Troy well at all. I think I heard her ridicule him at least three times with, “RUDE, Troy!” when he said or did something that really wasn’t that offensive. (Like talk about a medical case he saw at school, to which she replied, “I have to listen to this every night at like 4 a.m. It’s totally inappropriate.” In fact, I actually saw her make a face and shake her head, “No,” when he was caressing her leg. It was the oddest thing. The minute she arrived, he clammed up, showered affection on her, only to be brushed off and treated with little to no warmth. And she's not even that cute. We were at least willing to accept his motives is she was tall and gorgeous with big boobs.
Tell me, how does such a plain bitch win over and keep the hotness and quality of man that is Troy?!
This, my friends, was the conundrum Sarah and I couldn’t figure out. Then Sarah made a very good point. “Maybe he’s too nice. Maybe it’s not a challenge. Maybe, you know, it’s the whole ‘Bad Boy Syndrome,’ ” to which she and I totally agreed we’re guilty of. I said myself that this new Jesse-CO* guy is uber nice, borderline a little too nice, but then it balances out, and I get a little excited and turned on when he swears, tells me an outrageous rebellious story or yells at someone in traffic. What is that?!
It’s like all us women are dying for the nice guy like Troy who opens our door and tells us we’re beautiful at least once a week. But, don’t be too nice, otherwise you’re a total Pansy and don’t have any balls, and we’ll be jumping on the back of someone else’s motorcycle in no time!
Now, that’s a conundrum.
*Jesse-CO= Jesse Colorado. I now have to separate my Jesse's by state. So, if I'm talking about Jesse-OR, that's my ex. Jesse-CO is the new guy. And Jesse-CA was my freakin hot wedding date. (Who I'm hoping/expecting to see if he ever comes back into town.)
Currently Feeling: Unloved, unliked, nervous and vulnerable.
Currently Anticipating: A double date tomorrow with Jesse-CO, Sarah and Stuart to see Knocked Up.
Currently Hating: The job search.
4 comments:
"Tell me, how does such a plain bitch win over and keep the hotness and quality of man that is Troy?!"
Probably for the same reason why guys date crazy girls, because she's wild or totally hot in bed. Guys are dumb, sometimes it takes us a while to decide the hot sex isn't worth the pain-in-the-ass girlfriend.
It's along the lines of why do women stay with abusive men or men that cheat? You get hooked on the love of another person and get comfortable to a point of saying "why go anywhere?" It's sad to see a man like that, but I have a friend Ross and he's with a total bitch for a wife, she however helped him out of debt and he says it was all for the better what she has done. Maybe this chick did something for him and he feels he's in debt to her??? You should have coffee with him. Sometimes it just takes opening someone up to know........
Novel reply mode: ON
"Those guys are hard to come by."
Ay yay yay. You wrote this blog like you want a nice guy. If every girl who said they admired nice guys actually followed through and did something about it, more guys would be nice.
Nice guys are rare because they get tired of being 'special' - they'd rather be 'with someone.' They're intriguing to talk to and study like some kind of lab rat, but girls will rarely ever express desire for the nice guy or claim one as a boyfriend.
Most nice guys end up with witches because they're such agreeable chaps, easy to take advantage of, the classic 'too nice' problem. Witches hunt down men of great patience and tolerance because no other men would accept the abuse.
Nice guys typically also suffer from low self-esteem. They take a lot of crap from their witches because they're internally sad and don't know what else to do. They're certainly not going to ask for something better or realize they deserve better - that would be arrogant and greedy.
Sure it's enviable to be a gentleman, but it's also a good way to get spoken down to and kicked around. I can be a very nice accommodating guy. I prefer to be an irreverent jackass because it's less painful.
Yes he totally appreciates you and cares about you and negates your need for inner strength and self-esteem. But rendering your armor worthless can make you scared or uncertain about what's going on. Hence most nice guys are pretty sad and lonely. A lot of them get fed up with being alone and eventually become jaded cynical a-holes because it magically yields more friends and more respect.
Oh, and it's all your fault, you bitch!
j/k :)
Post a Comment
Thanks for taking the time to read and put your two cents in! I like to read and respond to most of my comments, so click the "Subscribe By Email" button to be part of the conversation! OkThnxBai.