A little pat on my back

This week I’ve been nothing short of extremely frazzled.

See, I had a huge presentation yesterday that I’ve been up late every night and up early every morning, working on it, practicing it, losing sleep over anxiety and adrenaline, counting down the moments until 1 p.m. on Wednesday.

I have this HUGE fear of public speaking. It freakin’ sucks. And it’s super bizarre cause I am.not.shy - most would call me outgoing. But you put me in front of a group of people, and my mind reels; my hands sweat. I feel like I’m almost having an out-of-body experience, like my mouth keeps talking, but my mind is going, “OMG. OMG. OMG.”

I played the piano for 13 years. Each year, we’d have a big end-of-the-year concert with every student, and all their parents, grandparents, cousins and dogs. The worse thing about it is that the entire hall was silent, and when it was your turn, you had to walk up to the front, sit at the piano in silence while everyone was watching you, and try to squeeze out the damn song while your hands were so sweaty they were slipping off the keys. Even the SMALLEST sound and mistake would ring across the room.

I hated it. I think it’s probably 75% of why I quit taking classes. I don’t know if it’s my inSANE perfectionism, but the thought of screwing up in front of a crowd gives me the heebee jeebees. (How in the hell do you spell that anyway?) I think it started during my little jaunt with piano, and it’s continued throughout my entire life. I’ve been seriously thinking about taking a public speaking class lately – sort of a “face your fears” thing.

Long story short, I haven’t been able to think of anything but my presentation this week. Thankfully, it went amazing, and I rocked it. I don’t know what I was so worried about, but afterward I felt like a 50-pound bolder had been lifted from my mind. The clouds parted, the sea calmed, the birds sang…

…and I bought shoes.

Three pairs of them to be exact.

I guess I could call it my little celebration and gift to myself for a job well done.

(BTW, these shoes are only $20 after S&H on this site.)

Currently Feeling: A little woozy and exhausted. I'm really regretting those rather LARGE glasses of wine from last night. Oh well. A girl has to celebrate sometimes.
Currently Anticipating: The sushi-making and sake-tasting class tonight with Mike! I'm finally going to learn how to make sushi! (And check something off my Bucket List!)
Currently Needing: Yet another new book. The last one was so.good that I finished it in less than a week!