Thoughts on three of them

I read a fellow blogger’s thoughts on three men in her past. And it seemed cleansing and like reckless heart abandonment. So, I figured, Jeanna could always use a little cleansing. It helps me get a little closer to exactly what I want and need in life, eh? One more step in solving the puzzle...

Here’s my take on her ex-orcism:

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I don’t miss how my family didn’t like you and would never have shared my love for you. I don’t miss your constant need for reassuring in everything in life: yourself, your job, your personality, my love. I don’t miss standing on a curb, waiting to see your car come pick me back up, feeling like the world was falling out from beneath my feet. I don’t miss never explaining or justifying myself enough to others when they wondered what I saw in you.

I miss that out-of-control love that I’ll never feel twice. Cause I’ll never be un-jaded like that again.

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I don’t miss knowing that I could never convince you that we were perfect together and would have been happy, well, forever. I don’t miss feeling like the smallest flaw in myself meant that I was not the perfect person you imagined spending your life with. I don’t miss feeling like I’d rather die than live life without you.

I miss eenks and wobbles. I miss feeling like I was the luckiest person in the world. I miss our after-softball-game ritual. I miss that plate of lemon bars you’d leave for me in the fridge. I miss your silly love poems and that goofy face you make when you play the guitar. I miss looking at you when we were sleeping and feeling like you were perfect and there was no way I could ever love someone so purely, completely, wildly again. I miss loving someone purely, completely, wildly. You are the only man to truly capture my heart.

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I don’t miss how your actions never matched up with your words. I don’t miss the constant letdowns and disappointments. I don’t miss feeling like everything was left unsaid, but if I would have said it, it wouldn’t have mattered. I don’t miss knowing that I was never going to be the woman to snag you, that being crazy about you was always to remain unrequited.

I miss our naughty text messages. I miss setting the alarm an hour early before you went to work. I miss feeling like I couldn’t get to your house fast enough and the butterflies in my stomach might cause me to float up and fly away. I miss that crazy, crazy chemistry. You made me feel sexier than any man ever has.

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Awww. Phew. That felt great. Now, here's the real challenge for those of you who feel like you know the ins and outs of me... name the three.

Currently Feeling: Impatient. Just let it all out.
Currently Anticipating: Caitlin's going away at Kell's tonight.
Currently Reading: The Things They Carried.