B-I-N-G-O!

I’ve added a new week-time ritual to my repertoire—Bingo on Thursday nights. Frankly, I’m starting to scare myself…book club, bowling league, bingo…is anybody seeing a scary pattern here? Have I suddenly skipped from being super popular to being an Old Maid? Fuck, I’ve even purchased a cat.

Maybe I’m just figuring out early what it takes years for everyone else to realize—activities such as Bingo, Bridge, Bunko, and all other events that usually have “60-years-old and over” attached to them, are really the absolute best ways to spend any free time. God, I’m so progressive.

So, Bingo at Jabu’s on Thursdays has become the place to be. Formally 25-cent PBR night, the local Queen Anne dive has switched to now offering free bingo, starting at 8. That’s right, I said FREE! For the last couple weeks, I’ve met some college friends of mine, Brett and Angie, for an all night drinking and bingoing funfest. I know what you are all thinking; with Bingo comes the crazies. The lucky troll dolls, tokens, bingo daubers, rituals, etc. This isn’t quite like that kind of Bingo. It’s actually pretty low key; the Bingo boards are paper punch-outs, and there’s only four or five rounds with prizes such as Sonics or movie tickets. Plus, there are many, many pitchers of alcohol involved. I’m not sure why, but each week as the night progresses, the bingo caller seems to call things faster and it becomes way harder to keep up and check all four cards in front of me. Watch out for that.

Not only have I had a fun drunken time each week, but I’ve managed to learn a few things too:

Apparently there are still some people that think it’s funny to “fake” everyone out by calling Bingo early. Ever heard of the Little-Boy-Who-Cried-Wolf syndrome, bitches?

It’s really hard to eat dinner, play bingo and drink a beer while trying to sneak in bathroom and smoke breaks. I’m just going to attribute my success in pulling this off to a little talent of mine I like to call “multi-tasking.”

All sorts of Bingo rounds exist including the Bowtie, Post-It, Capital T, etc. How fun would it be to be a Bingo caller and create your own Bingo rounds? Someday…

Men have the ability to “pinch-off” their pee if reasons arise such as when the break is over and the Bingo caller has begun sounding out the numbers.

Calling out O-69 never gets old.

A whole subculture exists in Bingo,including Bingo-Offs if more than one winner exists, and a little thing I like to call Bingo-Lingo. This includes, saying “25-per” or “50 per,” every time a number is called, depending on the percentage of hits on your four cards.

Jabu’s has some pretty fucking damn good mac-n-cheese.

Bingo dauber paint is semi-permanent and doesn’t rub off one’s skin very easily. Learn from my friend Brett’s mistake below and don’t daub your face with bright blue paint the night before you have to be at work-sober.

Currently Feeling: Slight withdrawals, but better.
Currently Anticipating: The weekend's birthday festivities.
Currently Loving: Friends who know how to handle their alcohol.