Atleast once a day, kiddies!

Apologies in advance, for I'm about to talk about something slightly gross and inappropriate...

No, not fat people, chicken farming, vaginas or puking...

FLOSSING.

I'll admit. I spent a huge chunk of my life not flossing. I'd always dread the dentist cause they'd jam their floss in between my teeth (in a very ungentle fashion), leaving my gums sore for days afterward. And they'd lecture me each time, "Do you FLOSS? You need to FLOSS. At least once a day!"

I think flossing was flushed down the same shoot as washing my face every night. (I know, I know. I'm gross. And I can't believe I'm admitting this on the worldwide Web.) I guess I can just blame my MOM. Thanks a lot mom. You forgot to teach me, at a young age so it was ingrained in my being, that I needed to floss and wash my face every night. Hmph.

So it wasn't until recently that I started to become a Flosser. I don't know if it's because my teeth are moving, leaving larger and larger gaps as I get older (that's really exciting to think about), but in the last six months or so, I feel like I always have something stuck in my teeth after eating. So I started flossing after every meal, and OH.MY.GOD.

Have you seen the stuff that gets stuck in your teeth after a meal? I mean, I'm pulling out huge chunks of chicken, steak, bacon (Mmm. Maybe I should save that for later) or whatever else I've eaten. It seriously, seriously disturbs me. I mean, if you don't floss after meals, or at least at night, that food is just sitting in your teeth ROTTING. Like rotten meat. In your TEETH and mouth. The same mouth you kiss people with! And if you don't floss and get that junk out of there, where does it go? Does it just disintegrate into your gums? Have you ever had a chunk of something come out of your teeth in your mouth, and you're like, "Hmm. I didn't eat corn for dinner..." Yah. Because if you didn't floss, it's probably the corn you ate LAST WEEK.

Do you see how neurotic I've become about this? I've starting carrying around floss in my bag. And the times I haven't had floss (like when I forget it camping), I make my BF drive me to the store so I can buy some. I mean, I'm probably diddling away my severance package on dental floss. Thank god the BF is just as neurotic about it. I mean, we both shiestly sneak away after every meal so we can floss, which is kinda weird, but at least I know I'm not going to be kissing someone with rotten food in their teeth. I think if I find myself single again someday, "Being a Flosser" is going to go on my list of requirements in a mate.

Cause all I'm going to think about every time I kiss someone from here on out is, "Gee, I hope you don't have ROTTEN DEAD BABY ANIMAL hiding away anywhere in there."

I bet you want to go floss now.

Currently Feeling: An extreme need to grocery shop. I've been getting creative with all the boxes and random ingredients, but now I'm out of eggs, bread and milk. Booo. Hisss.
Currently Anticipating: Bike riding tonight and then Superbad at Redhook Brewery outdoor summer movies.
Currently Loving: Tuna. With lots and lots of pickles!