Realogics Seems to Be Realucrative

Thanks to Sarah’s fabulous new job as a marketing coordinator for Realogics, the two of us spent last night schmoozing with beautiful people while sipping free cocktails and eating fancy hors d’ouvres. Not a bad way to spend a Thursday evening.

Last night was the first model showroom opening for Gallery Condominium, a new condo project in Belltown that has yet to break ground. The progressive condos are modeled after the marketing pitch, “Art=Life.” Pretty clever and pretty expensive. The showroom was housed in an art gallery downtown on 1st and was fabulous—blue prints of layout plans, video and photograph displays, and a very modern, very swanky showroom featuring a sample bedroom, kitchen and living room.
Me, me, me, I want, I want, I want.

Let’s not beat around the bush here, I won't be able to afford a condo like this in this decade, if ever. I was just there for the free alcohol. And, I guess, to act as Sarah’s wing woman. When we arrived, the place was swarming with beautiful people. It seems that only the fashionable and rich can afford condos in Seattle. Go figure. We immediately hopped in line for the alcohol—our choice—Alpine martinis, red and white wine, or beer. The two of gravitated toward the Alpine martinis—straight-up Vodka citron in a martini glass with a scoop of lemon sorbet and garnished with a few pine sprigs. It was probably the strongest martini I’ve ever drank. Let’s just say they did the trick.

Between chatting with Sarah’s coworkers, and trying to fight an 80-year-old man for the shrimp tray, we walked around and pretended we were there cause we could actually, or ever would be able to, afford a brand new condo in Belltown. What were we really doing? Scoping for hot, rich men and people watching. And let me tell you, there were some fascinating types. I couldn’t stop staring at a very attractive and stylish male who had an equally stylish girl on his arm who probably weighed a buck five. Hmmm, good looking but resembles flamboyant Kanye from Project Runway a little too much. Then in walked two somewhat cute men—one with a Luis Vuitton manbag slung on this shoulder. I’m going to go with flaming gay. For the eccentric types—Holy Tits with black pleather buckle boots on, Mr. I Wear My Sunglasses at Night, complete with an attached, mirrored nose bridge, and a 50-something wearing red snakeskin spandex pants, a black top with just the shoulders cut out and a gold sequin bag. It was endlessly entertaining.

If people watching weren’t enough, the eye candy was even better. Besides an old Asian man with jacked teeth who tried to convince me and Sarah to go home with him and soak in his hot tub overlooking the Old Spaghetti Factory (yes, this actually was his pickup line. Hello creepy!), there definitely were some rich businessmen suit-and-tie types. Yummy. According to Candace Bushnell, if men can be modelizers and seek to date only female models, well I’ve decided that I can become a Condoizer—a woman who only dates men she finds at condo premiere parties. I mean, they’re bound to be successful and amazing, right?

A couple hours into the evening, two smokes, three Alpine martinis, three glasses of wine, and one rapping homeless man, it wasn’t long before Sarah and I realized that the showroom had cleared out and it was pretty much just me and her sitting at a table and babbling at each other. Time to go home. Except how can one just go home after such a fabulous start to an evening? So, we went to Peso’s where we thought it would be a good idea to take buttery nipple shots, and soon found ourselves wandering aimlessly around the streets of Queen Anne, trying to remember where Sarah parked her car.

I’m going to rather enjoy my new life as a Condoizer.

Currently Feeling: Like it’s time to play the game a bit.
Currently Anticipating: Going to Bellingham tonight to hang with Haley and get my hair colored. And Angela’s girls night tomorrow and Mob Law and The High Dive.
Currently Wondering: Who from Sterling Savings Bank read all my archives yesterday...come on...reveal yourself.