Let's Break a Deal

I swear this weather is going to be the death of me. When it is this sunny and warm, going home and doing boring things such as cleaning and laundry seem so mundane. Summers in Seattle force me to want to drink more. God forbid.

Last night I zoomed home from work and changed clothes real fast in order to meet Matt and his roommate Andreas at Nectar for Happy Hour. Read my previous blog here about Nectar’s lovely lush-ious hours of power. Surprisingly, a table was open on the patio, and the three of us sat around sipping on our libations while shielding ourselves from the sun as if it were going to make us melt. We chitchatted here and there and read through the creepy personal ads in the back of The Stranger for a good laugh. Soon the topic turned to our own sexual escapades and the criteria we look for in the opposite sex. After sharing stories about our “uber-exes,” flings we’ve had throughout our single years, and what we love about members of the opposite sex, Andreas asked me, “What are your deal breakers?”

I didn’t know how to answer right away, and while I said a couple things, the question lingered in my mind for the remainder of last night and today. What are my deal breakers? It’s hard for me to really answer that question because all the people I’ve dated I initially really liked. But even after our dating stints end, I still carry pretty high opinions of most of them. It takes me so long to find someone worth dating, that once I find them…they usually don’t contain any of the “deal breakers” in the first place. After thinking about this for nearly 24 hours (minus the eight hours of sleep I got last night) I’ve managed to come up with a few things that either mark the end of one relationship or explain why one never starts:

1. Drugs/Addiction: Major turn-off to me. Some of you might be surprised. Yes, I like to party, however, I find it extremely disturbing when all someone can do is party. We all need time off, and I need an occasion couch and movie session. Furthermore, now that I’m 24, I find drugs disgusting. I’ve done my experimenting once or twice in high school and college, and now that faze of life is over for me. On occasional pot smoker—ok. Coke—no way.

2. Trust: This is huge for me. I’ve experienced a few relationships that were never the same after my trust was broken. Don’t give me any reason to not trust you, or it’s over. Furthermore, deal with the fact that I have guy friends, and I like to spend alone time with them. I will not give up my relationship with them for your own insecurities. I believe that if two people are comfortable and secure with each other, then spending time or talking to members of the opposite sex will never be an issue.

3. Stupidity: Refer to Risky Business in the blog below. I don’t care how hot you are or how big your muscles are. If you can’t sit and have an intelligent conversation with me, or if you think books are boring, chances are we will never get along. Furthermore, never misuse "your" "you're" "their" or "they're" in anything you ever write to me. Chances are I'll never think the same of you again.

4. College Education: I’m a snob. I know it. But I cannot ever see myself dating someone that did not have the ambition to do anything after high school. Now that I’ve attended a higher education institute, it’s painfully clear how much of a joke high school is. I will, however, make exceptions for people who followed a dream such as art school or firefighting (that one’s for Andreas) and are doing something that required some sort of discipline or planning for their future.

Those are the ones I’ve come up with so far…well, the less-shallow ones I should say. I could have thrown in “guys who are skinnier than me” or “jacked teeth,” but then that list would have been far too long, and I probably would have ruled out any guy I’ve ever met or dated. Maybe that's my problem. Eh. To wrap this up, I’ll quote an article I found in the Village Voice:

“Analyzing our deal breakers can sometimes lead to a happy ending—figuring out what we do want from a partner. Finding someone to fuck every once in a while is relatively easy, but finding someone to spend your life with takes a lot more effort. Sometimes I wish I could compromise on my deal breakers, but settling always comes with an emotional price tag. Be the best person you can be and eventually you'll attract the right person. Don't go hunting. Things should happen naturally."

Good advice for all of us still searching for that “special someone.” What are your deal breakers?

Currently Feeling: The shopping itch even though I currently don’t have enough money for rent and my car payment because of my vacation. I have a serious problem.
Currently Anticipating: The booze cruise this weekend with Matt, Andreas, and hopefully a bunch of Andreas’ hot firefighting friends!
Currently Reading: One of the best books I’ve read in a long time: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer